alwaysenduphere: (sam//and crashing to the ground)
So, inspired by anon meme, I posed the question to my twitter followers: Is Season 6 Sam much like Dexter?

Now, Dexter still have feelings and a soul. He intrinsically loves his sister, his wife, and his son, I agree with what [livejournal.com profile] crimsonkitty88 said, "Dex adores Deb even if he doesn't admit it. Sam just plain old doesn't feel it." You see that in his actions. But he doesn't really know HOW to feel these things. Sam, Sam I think knows he's supposed to, even knows HOW to feel these things, but just...can't.

[livejournal.com profile] foolishcalling had this to say.
I think Sam in some ways is worse off than Dexter. Dexter can at least still somewhat care for things - Harrison, etc. But I think Sam is just going through the motions, because he logically knows what he should care about, but can't. It's almost like they're mirror opposites, evolving in opposite directions. Dexter = getting better at caring about some things and Sam completely losing the ability to.

Me: I think the only thing Sam recognizes is that he needs to be at Dean's side.

She: The sad thing is, is that they got so fucked up over the last two seasons, I don't think he knows how to properly do it anymore.(...) Instead of pulling out all the mythology stuff, maybe focus a bit more on the psychological dynamics of their relationship.
...But not the constant woobie crying stuff that only seems to be whopped out at the end of every ep.


So that's what I want from this season, right there.

Wheeee. SAM'S SOUL IS SRS BSNS. Also someone write me this:
I still want a coda to 6.06 where that beat-down turns into angry sex, with Dean being desperate to make Sam feel something, anything, and the fists don't work, and he's so angry and frustrated and this is Sam but it isn't Sam, and all of Dean's careful reconstruction of himself as an ordinary man breaks down and he goes to the dark place.

Sam lets him, not out of ignorance or confusion, but because it doesn't hurt him, and it might help Dean. Sam's body responds, but he doesn't, can't, really feel any of Dean's pain, but maybe this is a way he can help, just a little. (whoever you were that requested this on the anon me, ILU)


Just food for thought.

Oh, also, new header image made for me by the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] twofourteen All my favorite dark!boys. <33 And a new layout to go with, because it'd been forever since I changed layouts and I couldn't handle the brown/black combo.
[livejournal.com profile] alwaysenduphere [livejournal.com profile] alwaysenduphere.

TROLOLOLO BACK TO OMEGLE I GO. Or perhaps I will watch The Walking Dead now. Though it's a bit late for that.
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
darkmerrick -----> alwaysenduphere


As in, "Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up...here." (that's Samifer in Supernatural 5.04 if you live under a rock. :P)

So weird. I've been darkmerrick for friggin ever, since before I got this journal in '04 even. It's a big thing. People won't know who I am, wibble.

In other news... )
alwaysenduphere: (impala//where the road may lead)
Two things I keep meaning to mention and don't.

Everyone joked that Legion was like Supernatural: the movie, and it...kind of was, in a way. But in a terribly produced and executed way. Don't pay money to see it, really. It's terrible. I've read better bad fic of the apocalypse sort. Really. But anyway, there's one thing from the movie that has kinda stuck with me and made me wonder a bit about Castiel and even God's intentions.

The basic plot of Legion is that God ordered the angels to exterminate human kind, okay. But Michael rebels and goes to defend JessCharlie and her baby.

I suppose I should warn for spoilers for the end of Legion )

That was a lot of text to explain one little question. Whew.

Point number two:

one of my all-time favorite Whedon quotes ever:

Angel: Well, I guess I kinda worked it out. If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters... , then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do. Now. Today. I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, and finally just to beat the other guy, but I never got it.
Kate Lockley: And now you do?
Angel: Not all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because, I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there's no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.



I can't decide if I want this quote to pertain more to Sam or Dean. Because at this point, they're both trying for redemption in some form or another, Sam for the demon blood/lucifer freeing and Dean for torturing in hell.

I like how I can point out quotes that are relevant to me, but I totally fail at expounding on them in a good solid meta-esque way. But just. Food for thought.

Also! This article is an interesting read (at least the part about Angel was):
Spiritual Atheism: Buffy, Angel, House, & Doctor Who.

Happy Thursday!
Also, Happy April Fools. I don't think I can top last year's prank of convincing people my parents had bought me an impala, so I have nothing planned.
alwaysenduphere: (jared and harley)
so uh, i just buried my dog. my puppy. My Winchester. my mom let him loose and because he was a silly thing with too much energy, he ran away and some dick in a white truck didn't see him.

we only had him three months.

i wanted to burn him like only a Winchester should be buried, but my parents said it'd be too hard.




i don't...

What am I supposed to be thankful for now.
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
So yeah, Sunday the big day. Gotta admit, I was pretty exhausted by this point, so I definitely missed some of the little nuances that made it so perfect.

Supernatural Chicago Con 2009, Sunday )
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
Firstly, let me just thank [livejournal.com profile] dawnintheforest for the bajillionth time for allowing me to stay with her and putting up with me. I'm so glad to have met you, luv.

I'm always torn whether to use real names or user names when making things like this, but I'll stick with the usernames, I suppose.

Apologizing ahead of time because I do not have a decent camera anymore as mine is rather aged, so a lot of my pics are through my phone, which, while not a bad quality camera phone, can only do so much. So I don't have many pictures and the ones I do are only so-so.

Chicago Supernatural Convention, 2009 )
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
This is the first pumpkin I ever carved. Pretty good, eh? Haha. Took me 2+ hours and my hand cramped like whoa. I'll be posting more pictures of our other pumpkins and my costume and stuff tomorrow or the next day, but consider this a sneak peek. :D



Clicky to embiggen.
alwaysenduphere: (quotage//sam//ain't that the truth)
I wrote all this last night at like 3am half-drunk on wine coolers and extremely extremely morose. Actually, it's pretty upbeat for what I'm feeling now. But seriously. BEST. EPISODE. EVER. I'm'a be thinking about this one for weeks.

NEEDS MOAR ZOMBIES )
Anyway, EEEEE EPISODE!! Nothing will compare to this episode for awhile at least, I'm sure. NOTHING. Life is crap, but Supernatural is AMAZING.
alwaysenduphere: (wincest//hopes & dreams are shattering)
Obviously, someone was trying to stop me from watching tonight's episode, as it took three tries plus the download I'm currently watching in order for me to see the entire thing. Eastern time showing at home: Channel craps out, like its been doing since our cable got downgraded. Fucking Avenue. So I went to Brett's to watch it, even though the picture looks crappy on his HD. Mountain time showing: captions are all screwed up and we can't turn it up loud because people are sleeping. Pacific time showing: Um, we got distracted. So yay, download!

So anyway.

Supernatural 5.02 )

In conclusion, to sum up Sam and Dean's ever increasing soap-opera relationship:
You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will.


It took me over an hour to make this post. WHUT.
alwaysenduphere: (Heat of the Moment)
Run, don't walk, RUN, to read this: Supernatural, Double Feature (The Winchester Horror Picture Show) by [livejournal.com profile] regala_electra and the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] ignited

It was written in 2007, so some of you may have read it before. But duude. Read it again. Rocky Horror Picture Show. And Supernatural. Together. Combined. Need I say more. I bet its a funny read even if you don't know a damn thing about SPN. Although, if you have a problem with fictionalized incest, it wouldn't be for you.

But dude. I EL OH EL'ED literally several times. And if you ask really nicely, I might even upload the soundtrack, since the links in the story are broken. I think I have it somewhere.


And on the total (totally totally) opposite spectrum of that, you must read this: Golden Lights Go Dark Tonight by [livejournal.com profile] pixel_0

The summary reads: "In the beginning, Sam only wanted to save Dean. By the end, everything and nothing had changed." I can't say too much about it without giving away the punchline, but it's dark. It's real dark, but utterly perfect in the end.

*waves jedi mind trick hand* GOOOO NOWWWWWW. READ.

In other news, I cleaned the living shit out of my room yesterday and today. I feel very accomplished. Especially now that I can walk through my room in a straight line without zig-zagging around boxes. Now if only this darn headache would go away.
alwaysenduphere: (sam and ruby//demon beside you)
This post is pretty much mostly if not all about Supernatural. If that's not your cup o', sorry. I feel like all I do is post SPN stuff anymore and so I'm kinda apologizing to those of you who could care less about my silly fandom.

Anyway.

you had it in you the whole time, dumbo )

rl entry to come at a later date, once I have a chance to collect my thoughts on the matter.
alwaysenduphere: (sam//quote buffy you think you know)
Quick review post since I'm off to do the one thing I have most in common with the Winchesters: Drive through Indiana backroads listening to classic rock in the middle of the night. That's right, oh yeah, I'm goin' home. Only thing left in my career as a college student is finals! In theory. I'm still riding the edge as far as grades go, so it could be either way. But I'm bein' optimistic I'll pass.

Anyway. I don't have any snappy cut text. Review under here. )

Aw, I was gonna really quickly set up my Dreamwidth account since it's Open Beta now! But apparently my turn to get an invite code hasn't yet come up yet. Oh, well. Maybe tomorrow.
alwaysenduphere: (dean//jensen//a prayer on my knees)
I don't always feel the need to explain myself, but since I consider myself a member of a fandom that has been known to be partially batshit crazy at times, I think it's better to be as clear as possible. Plus I just feel like getting everything out in the open. :)

Am I too obsessed with the show? Probably. I used to sit in class and compare Milton and Doctor Faustus to Supernatural, I used to write fanfic when I was bored in class, and my vocabulary consists of dozens of references to the show. ("Douchnozzle" is my current favorite.) I've paid hundreds of dollars and drove several hours out of my way to see Jared and Jensen in Chicago in November two years in a row. I agree to do(mostly legal) things just to get other people to watch the show and spread the word. I realize some people consider this obsessed, and sure, maybe it is. But I still feel like I retain perspective.

Now that that's out there, the rest of this post is about said obsession. :) I give you: the lowdown on how I feel about Supernatural and fandom. )

last updated: 22 Feb. 2010
alwaysenduphere: (dean// in the heat of the torture)
First off. Hee. I changed the language settings on my Facebook account to Pirate speak. It's oh so highly amusing. There's also Leet speak for the more geek-inclined.

Supernatural. Gah. How could I have ever doubted that this show would remain amazing to me? I mean, I wasn't, really, but I will admit, I've been overall disappointed with most of the episodes since 4.10. And this one? I have very little to complain about.

We've been reading Doctor Faustus in my lit class this week, and I'm constantly comparing Dean with Faustus, as well as Sam at times.

I'll just cut this here )

My dl just finished, so I think I'm off to watch again. I wouldn't be surprised if this post got repeatedly edited throughout the evening. :P

as I'm rewatching edits here )

I'm so hopelessly in love with this episode.

this.

Feb. 25th, 2009 12:20 am
alwaysenduphere: (impala//where the road may lead)
~"If something bad happens, I cross that bridge when I come to it, whether it's a broken bridge or a golden bridge."
Jensen Ackles from the Venice magazine article

The motto I'm currently living by.


Supernatural got the early renewal for season five. *fist pump* Means I can be an insane fangirl for another year, no excuses needed. I can't believe Smallville and One Tree Hill are still going, though. Guess it shows a show can survive even if cast member start disappearing.

Thoroughly the most stressed I've ever been. Hiatus is still on, at least until Thursday evening, for sure. Just popping in to shine out what little light I have keeping me going. I hope everyone had a nice Mardi Gras today/yesterday, since it's now after midnight.

/edit: new layout. new profile: [livejournal.com profile] darkmerrick.
[livejournal.com profile] crimson_rainbow got a matching change, too, but nothing new posted. :/ my brainz is brokenz.
alwaysenduphere: (dean//not drunk enough for this shit)
In the order in which I viewed them (F13, Dollhouse, Heroes, Battlestar Galactica, Lost, if the cut text isn't clear), with (hopefully) plenty of spoiler space in between, just in case.


the one with the dude in the mask )

the one with the chick who'd be a good sex slave )


the one that always has me sitting on the edge of the couch hoping adama doesn't die )


the one where my favorite character has cool eyebrows )



the show that jj abrahms knew would eat people's brains when he created it )


...I think that's everything. Phew. I could never be one of those people to write reviews on all the shows I watch every week. I don't know how you people do it! So much information to type out, and I always feel like there's MORE I want to say but just can't process enough to type out.

I wish there was a Supernatural review to go along with this. Sadface. 'specially after the spoilers I read today.
alwaysenduphere: (spn//anna)
[Error: unknown template qotd]

Jared Padalecki's umbrella holder. XD Wait...I'm probably too short for that.
Jensen Ackles' umbrella holder. Or Jared's dog sitter.

Hmm. But really.

I've never really wanted to act, but I'd definitely love to be involed on any TV or Movie Set. I'd answer scriptwriter, except I'm pretty picky about my work and I hate having someone turn it into something it's not, which is pretty much what always happens to writers' works. But just something behind the scene, maybe set design or lighting or craft services, something, that would make me a part of the ensemble. I think filmmaking is an awesome process, and I'm kinda shooting myself everyday for not becoming a Telecommunications major when I had the chance.

Any idea how this dream could become reality? I'm looking for a career come May, HELP! haha.
alwaysenduphere: (sam//quote buffy you think you know)
In regards to one Dean Winchester:

He would have to rely on the might of his arm. So must a man do who intends to gain enduring glory in a combat. Life doesn't cost him a thought. ~Beowulf, around line 1535.


In regards to one Jared Padalecki:


Leave BritneyGenevieve alone!! lol. No, really. It's no one's business but their own, and I feel sorry for the poor girl for all the heat she's getting from fandom, and even more sorry for Jared for knowing that it's being linked with him that's bringing it all on her. Really. It almost seems like people don't want him to be happy unless its with Jensen, and that's just a whole 'nother ballgame.

(*cough* on the bright side, at least he can still shout "Jen/Gen" when the timing is right, if ya know what I mean? *cough grin*)
alwaysenduphere: (bsg//all along the watchtower bitches)
This post is ALMOST All about Battlestar Galactica. Skip it if you haven't seen it or don't care to.

I'm not posting again until Monday. I swear, I swear, I swear. (which means monday's post will probably be huge, lol)

one day soon, there will be a reckoning )

I bought this sweet iPod case today. it looks like this only in BLUE! It looks pretty hardcore, like it could bounce around in my new purse okay. I worry about iPod Sam getting abused, yes, I do.

I met with my community partner for my creative writing class today too. Got to see a side of Muncie, that frankly, I never wanted to. Muncie is very much a sad, low-quality, low-income city once you get a few blocks outside of college territory. And a group home shouldn't be located where it was.

It's going to be a difficult partnership, for sure, without elaborating. But let's just say it's hard to work with a partner when your partner's VERY, VERY shy, among other things. SIGH. ARG, SCHOOL.

I'm going to spend this weekend NOT updating and catching up on fic. My folder is getting out of control. I mean, what? I'm going to do my homework, of course. *nods*

Edit: Oh! There's this, this that made me write my first ever J2 drabble:

banner by [livejournal.com profile] ignited


*runs off to maybe fill more prompts for it*

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