alwaysenduphere | I HAVE SO MANY HUNGER GAMES FEELS

Finished Mockinjay for a second time last night at work. It's a good thing it's Easter break or everyone still awake at 5am would've seen me fighting to keep the tears from forming a puddle on the desk.

The ending is still extremely unsatisfying and the whole book is just brutal in a way that a YA novel should probably not be, but I...(i don't want to say enjoyed because it is far too depressing for that)...don't find it as horrible as I did the first time I read it. I think I probably rushed it the first time because I tend to do that, and this time I read every word of Katniss' horrific PTSD, a fact that didn't really register the first time, either.

(trying out the spoiler text)

FINNICK OH FINNICK. I don't remember caring about you so much on round one, but oh lord your death is so wildly unsatisfactory I CAN'T EVEN. Two lines and ~his life flashes before Katniss' eyes~ and then he's not even mentioned again until the epilogue. Sigh. And now everyone's speculating on who will play him in the movies, and I'm not usually one to care about that sort of thing too much (matter of fact, I prefer having a face to put to a character as opposed to one I've made up myself, which I know is unusual.) but I don't want a face on Finnick. Like, no one will match up to him for me, I don't think. (Unless there's a male version of Jennifer Lawrence somewhere.)

unreckless mentioned she pictured him as a early S1 Dean, and man, Jensen's wee face is probably the only face that I would accept freely at this point (though it makes thinking about Finnick's ridiculous death even worse DD:) but that ship has sailed with age, sooooo. Every name I've heard thrown out though is just...no.

Also, JOHANNA. I'd forgotten her and Katniss' Rocky training montage sort of thing and how she relapses, AND THEN WE NEVER SEE HER AGAIN. A lot of the fanfiction assumes she goes to 2 with Gale but that's not actually said? And ugh. There needs to be a short story companion to the series post-war but pre-epilogue, about characters other than Katniss, since her world is just a messy blur. I didn't even feel like her world was okay in the epilogue, or really that she even wanted those children, which is SO NOT A HAPPY ENDING goddamnit.

I feel like I'll start back at THG in a few weeks again just so I can have naive pre-war Katniss and not-crazy Peeta. THE CYCLE CONTINUES

aaagh and the movie no one will see with me. i went by myself because i wanted to see it THEN but i figured someone would want to see it again. brett keeps making up excuses (okay work keeps needing him BUT STILL he won't tell me his schedule) and my mom for sure keeps blowing me off and well. i don't have anybody else.

super bummed the director won't be back for the second movie. also steadily becoming one of those fans that CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT MOVIE!!1!!!!1! I've never been one of those fans and I. don't. like. it.

tl;dr THG has eaten my brain.

(Oh, and I now ship Katniss/Haymitch lord save us all. Fanfiction is the devil. come on thg fandom, write more!)

[This post is incredibly superficial but I couldn't even begin to articulate how pissed off I am at life right now.]