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Television and movie reviews, random fandom comments, and fanfic are public. Most personal stuff is locked, but all is variable. I do try to read every entry on my friends list, so I don't automatically add back until I've gotten to know you, but if you leave a comment with something we have in common, I'll be much more inclined to add back. No comment = no friending. Feel free to de-friend whenever. I don't hold grudges, and sometimes, people just don't click.
alwaysenduphere: (1d//harry//laughter is the best)
2015 Scrapbook

we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet.

| 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 |

2015 )

Last Updated: 7 April 2015
alwaysenduphere: (farscape//shooting makes me feel better!)
2014 Scrapbook

we got to live before we get older, do what we like we got nothing to lose. shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders, ohhh we got nothing to prove.

| 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 |

2014 )

Last Updated: 31 December 2014
alwaysenduphere: (farscape//shooting makes me feel better!)
2013 Scrapbook

Think about the year that has passed. All the memories, the entries and posts that made the year special. Think about all your past layouts, default icons, mood themes. How about all those conversations you had via comments, or the huge post in ONTD that you spent all night commenting on. The 2013 Scrapbook Post is a way to help you remember all of that, in a single post.

| 2010 | 2011 | 2012 |

Life is a great wheel. Sometimes it grinds you down to the mud, and other times it lifts you up into the light. )

Last Updated: 9 January 2013
alwaysenduphere: (spartacus//it lifts spirits)
Title: remember to breathe
Fandom: Pacific Rim
Characters: Raleigh Becket & Yancy Becket
Rating: PG
Summary: You can still remember, in vivid detail, seeing a Kaiju for the first time, sitting in the school cafeteria nursing a flavorless meatloaf and the last of a carton of chocolate milk.
Notes: 1097 words. second person pov. written for Jaegercon Bingo for the square "kaiju."

Read it here on AO3!
alwaysenduphere: (spartacus//it lifts spirits)
title: the moments that keep us moving [AO3]
fandom(s): Pacific Rim, Star Trek: AOS
characters: Nyota Uhura, James T Kirk, Christopher Pike
rating: PG
notes: 2358 words. second person pov. title from this song. also, this is a Spinosaurus.
summary: You know how demanding being a pilot can be, and you've been in the command center as four Jaegers have fallen. Communications is what you were born to do.

Until it isn't.

[AU in which Uhura is a Jaeger pilot and Kirk is her new rookie partner.]

Thankfully, you're not in San Francisco when the first Kaiju attacks )
alwaysenduphere: (farscape//shooting makes me feel better!)
i would like to use lj more regularly, but i do think part of the problem comes from the fact that there is so much on my friends list these days that i am not interested in, so i am taking steps to change that.

on a slow but ongoing mission to clear out my friends list. i am mostly deleting journals that no longer update regularly, but there are other deletions. i am sorry if we've never connected, more sorry if we have connected and then since lost touch, but that is the way of life, it seems.
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
2012 Scrapbook

Think about the year that has passed. All the memories, the entries and posts that made the year special. Think about all your past layouts, default icons, mood themes. How about all those conversations you had via comments, or the huge post in ONTD that you spent all night commenting on. The 2012 Scrapbook Post is a way to help you remember all of that, in a single post.

| 2010 | 2011 |

We all can be only who we are, no more, no less. )

Last Updated: 31 December 2012
[ profile] 2012scrapbook
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
2012 Scrapbook

Think about the year that has passed. All the memories, the entries and posts that made the year special. Think about all your past layouts, default icons, mood themes. How about all those conversations you had via comments, or the huge post in ONTD that you spent all night commenting on. The 2012 Scrapbook Post is a way to help you remember all of that, in a single post.

| 2010 | 2011 |

We all can be only who we are, no more, no less. )

Last Updated: 26 July 2012
[ profile] 2012scrapbook
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
Title: we prepare our homes for darkness [AO3]
Rating: R
Warnings: non-linear timeline. second person pov (tony’s). probable overuse of zombies. multiple character deaths. basically, there are no happy endings here, folks.
Characters/pairings: Tony/Clint; ensemble cast
Summary: You’ve all been in tricky situations before, though, doomsday scenarios and no-win situations with no way out. That's what The Avengers are for, isn't it? Things look grim, so hey, call The Avengers, and they'll fix everything right up? Alternatively: The Avengers, at the end of all things, from the eyes of one guy in a metal suit.
Notes: ~2300 words. written for [ profile] avengers_xchng for [ profile] amanuensis1's prompt, which is at the end of the fic. This took a bit of a turn from the prompt, but I hope it still satisfies in some way.


When The Hulk pauses his giant green fists mid-smash with a contorted look of pain and then collapses to the ground in a Bruce Banner-sized heap, that's when you know everything is not going to be alright.

There's destruction as far as the eye can see, even farther than that according to the scans JARVIS keeps running. There's no one around you now, even in the thick of it, mostly dead bodies and a few souls probably trapped in their homes, just lambs for the slaughter. Hundreds upon thousands of people dead, buildings now unrecognizable piles of rubble, and Manhattan is certainly never going to resemble its former self again, no matter how much money you or anyone decides to throw into the cleanup, you're sure of that.

You’ve all been in tricky situations before, though, doomsday scenarios and no-win situations with no way out. That's what The Avengers are for, isn't it? Things look grim, so hey, call The Avengers, and they'll fix everything right up? You always thought it was a bit of a joke, some sort of tagline so the government stiffs could claim to have a handle on things, appearances and all that. Then again, it'd worked out pretty well so far, at least until now.

Bruce Banner is an unconscious lump in the middle of an ever-increasing horde of ugly creatures, arms and legs and blood a smeared pathway all around them. JARVIS informs you there’s no way you can make it to him in time, but you try anyway, suit beat-up and dinged in dozens of places, each one causing a little bit more power drain, a little more exertion on your part.

“The Hulk is down,” you mumble into the comms, and you don’t expect anyone to respond, everyone’s probably in the thick of it worse than you.

“Oh shit,” comes a stressed reply, and you want to laugh at just hearing someone’s voice other than JARVIS, but you’re all out of laughter on this day.

“Elegant as usual, Agent Barton,” you say, but there’s no humor in this situation and you regret the comment the moment it’s made. You’re certain wherever Captain America is, he’s holding back a reprimand for swearing on comms. If he can still hear you, that is.

The Hulk is down and JARVIS is still running his scans, always with the scans. You designed him to never give up looking for a way out, and it's a sound strategy, keeps you going in most fights when things look grim. And things certainly look grim. According to all the scans, the creatures were able to defeat the Hulk using some sort of virus specifically designed for his invincibility, and isn't that just the biggest problem of all.


It's been forever since you've all had a real Christmas, one holiday mishap after another - battles, illness, break-ups of epic proportions, even death. Not to mention everything in between. You're still impressed Pepper managed to pull off the decorations and the tree in less than twenty-four hours, always impressed at the way Pepper succeeds in pulling off things in a way no one could ever dare to compare. This time, you’re slightly convinced she somehow blackmailed Nick Fury, maybe with some secret stash of candy or some sort of compromising photos, and you must remember to ask JARVIS to look into that more. You've tried finding the dirt to blackmail Nick Fury with multiple times, to no avail. Pepper simply says it's just her good looks and charm that got the job done. You're not convinced.

It’s a true Christmas party like you’ve only seen in the movies, eggnog and presents and a giant tree that fills up half the common room of the tower. At first you’re against it, hate the idea of forcing the holidays on people, too many childhood Christmas days spent being dragged to one party with boring adults after another, hiding forgotten in corners with stolen wine glasses. Thor of all people convinces you it’s a good plan, cheerful and bombast as usual, and you laugh right along with everyone else when he breaks into a rendition of Jingle Bells using all the wrong words.

Presents aren’t really a big thing, ‘what do you get the superhero who can buy himself everything’, that sort of thing, but there’s a small exchange with Pepper-approved gifts – ornaments for the Christmas tree. It’s cheesy and you say as much, but the look on Steve’s face when he hangs his shiny little shield on one of the higher branches makes the whole hullabaloo seem worth it. Maybe giving everyone a Christmas like they’ve never had really is the best medicine.

Nearing the end of the day and Clint's almost gotten Natasha to laugh at the ridiculous Santa outfit he's pulled out of thin air, hearty ho-ho-ho-ing in his white beard and fake fat belly until she cracks a smile. You and Bruce are still practically rolling on the floor in amusement when the tower-wide priority alert goes off.

“No one ruins Christmas,” Clint practically shouts, yanking off his Santa hat.

You want to agree, but there’s this feeling in the pit of your stomach that everything is not going to be alright.


Captain America falls rescuing a dozen civilians out of a burning building. You can’t help but think it’s the perfect ending for him, and you get lost in maudlin thoughts for a span of three seconds before JARVIS reminds you that civilians are involved and you should try to help.

Thor is near Steve, Mjolnir's familiar hum providing steady background noise over the comms as you listen to Steve bark orders to the civilians. They’re not listening well, of course, panic and questions flying at him a mile a minute, and you do your best to answer the ones you can hear, listen as he and Thor relay your answers about the technical stuff, give their own at the spiritual stuff. Steve’s always been good at calming people in a crisis. There’s still uncontrollable panic all around, and you can’t blame them, the sight of their world overtaken by things that look like zombies not exactly anyone’s idea of a good time and well, people are kind of idiots anyway, it’s a fact you’ve known since you were old enough to string together quadratic equations, none of which seem relevant anymore.

They’re only a few blocks south of you but you can't get to their location in time, RTs barely coughing along, left one then right one but never at the same time, boots already long mucked up with blood and chunks of things you'd rather not think about, so you get to be a third party witness but only in high definition audio.

Thor yells, "Look out!" and it feedbacks into your earbud, echoes around in your head for a moment before Captain America’s voice pierces through.

"I see ‘em. I’ve got it,” he says, and there’s some frantic screams and the sound of his shield colliding with a lesser metal, telephone pole or car frame or something.

You don't hear any more from Captain America after that. You don’t know what happens to the people he was trying to rescue, either.


JARVIS is tuned into all the news stations, though at this point they're mostly broadcasting that people stay in their houses and board up everything. Natasha makes the comment that it’s the beginnings of a very bad horror movie, and it’s only then you notice her face is already streaked with ash from nearby looter fires.

“It’s the end of the world as we know it,” Bruce hums, in between Hulk phases for the moment. He’s far too cheerful for the situation, but you suppose having a break from being a giant green rage monster probably allows for a temporary rise in the doom and gloom factor.

“So much for Christmas,” Natasha says.

“You never were one for it anyway,” Clint replies, but a cloud settles over Natasha's expression and you think you can guess what it means, guess how she feels, like maybe it takes the right time and place to grow to like something and maybe Christmas would’ve had a chance to become likeable if only with a little more time. You’ve still got the image of Clint as Santa Claus seared into your brain, and you hope it stays there forever like a bouncer at a bar, blocking all the bad memories surely soon to come out.


You've never been sure if Thor is invincible or not, but put enough combatants on one target and even someone as powerful as a demi-god will have a hard time backing out of that corner.

There’s no sign of him when you finally, finally get to the source of his last transmission.


It sounds like a SyFy original movie at first, a giant cosmic joke that of course could only happen to The Avengers, 'Zombies from outer space' and of course they'd have to commence their take-over of Earth on Christmas Day. So much for that Mayan apocalypse, here you go, have some hideous creature from outer space that happens to enjoy proliferating by injecting toxic venom into their opponents by guess what, biting them. They’re not really zombies themselves, not in the Romero sense, though they are the ugliest things you've ever seen, like a mangled Chitauri in a radioactive explosion. Then again, your mental gallery of aliens from outer space is rather limited at this point.

By New Year’s Day JARVIS reports that the CDC has a cure, apparently, though that doesn't seem very useful to you now, hundreds of people already fallen victim and dozens of city blocks decimated beyond recognition. They don’t even have ships, not in the strictest ‘all your earth are belong to us’ way, though you suppose they had to get here somewhere. You wonder if maybe their ships have cloaking devices and you just can’t see them. Intelligent zombies, why stop there, right? What do you know, though, safe in your very expensive flying tin can.


Clint's scream over the fuzzy comms is the next on a growing list of things that could not be more wrong.

When you find him he's fighting ugly dead things off Natasha's body, bleeding from too many wounds himself, streaked in red and black. Natasha’s neck is broken and it is clear they’ve both fought to their very last, tear-streaked faces of ‘never give up’ still written in blood like a ‘until death do us part’ pact. They’ve always had that and you’ve never questioned it.

"It's not supposed to be like this," Clint says, and you've never agreed with anyone more in your life. He’s fading fast, and you struggle your sluggish body down to his level, wrap metal-clad arms around his body as the last moments of his life pass you both by, his quiet stuttering breaths the only thing you have left in a world engulfed in cacophony.

That's the moment you give up any hope you have left.


You don't have a lot of first times left in your life, myriad of one night stands, bad decisions, and general disgrace in your ever-growing history, so you don't want to come across as an over-romantic sap, but the passenger seat of his classic GTO is not where you pictured your first time with Clint Barton.

"Are you intentionally trying to be douchebag Danny from high school or do you treat all your ladies to this Clint Barton special?"

Clint snickers. "I mean, I could carry you over the threshold and make love to you in a real bed, if that's what you want."

You smash your lips into his, rough and unyielding, and he responds almost instantly, tongues sliding around together in a furious dance. "This works fine."

It's far less than warm outside, New York winter in full swing, and the windows are already a bit steamy from your combined body heat, and the whole thing just makes you laugh. Clint Barton, with the car, in the driveway. You can already see in your future a cold hard stare from Nick Fury that screams "if you fuck up my team I will fuck you up," and a shy knowing smile from Bruce as you and Clint stumble your way back into the tower. You can also see disapproving stares from Steve over Tuesday breakfast and no this really isn't the best of ideas, but you’re really fond of letting the worst ideas become better, so you slide your hands up Clint’s shirt and start taking mental notes at what he likes best.

"Does your brain ever shut up and just let you enjoy things?" Clint comments, callous fingertips returning the caress, brushing across the skin of your stomach.

You shiver, and not from the cold. "Nope. Can't stop, won't stop. That's how it is."

"Just like its owner, I hope."

"Dear Mr. Barton, is that a pick-up line? I'm flattered."

"Shut up," he says, hand around your cock. There's too much friction and not enough moisture, but it doesn't stop him, hand in a rhythm almost perfect for you, and maybe the passenger seat isn't such a bad idea after all.


When you fall, you're expecting it, waiting for it, even. The power can only last so long, and you are, after all, only human. The suit, the only thing protecting you this far, the last defense you or anyone has, gives one final chug. The arc reactor in your chest flickers. Your legs only have a few steps left in them after that. You fall, nothing left to do but watch the light in your chest slowly dim away.

Intelligent space zombies, who would've thunk it?


Prompt: Action plot happens (can be vague, though if you want to get in depth, be my very welcome guest). Things are clearly not going to be all right. Every one of them dies saving the day, one by one. We see reactions of the others as each one goes down, right down to the last one standing, who knows s/he's going down when s/he does. Mourning dénouement.
alwaysenduphere: (avengers//cap&bucky//band of brothers)
AMMURRICANS! Election season is almost over! [thank goodness.] Please, please don't think that your vote doesn't count. If you are registered, GO VOTE TOMORROW! If you've not been paying attention or if you're still not sure which of the candidates are your best fit, please check out: and

preferably for Obama ;)

Also! Happy Guy Fawkes Day, people of Britain. I hope you have fun burning your effigies and shooting off fireworks and whatever else actually happens on Bonfire Night idk idk i'm a clueless american. Alas, in the spirit of giving and because I can, I thought I'd offer up the ten issues that make up V for Vendetta if anyone wanted to read them. So, in one handy mediafire folder: V for Vendetta by Alan Moore.


Oct. 30th, 2012 05:17 am
alwaysenduphere: (dean//today's the day to say okay)
well, livejournal, you've finally done it. if i'm forced to use the 'new version' of the friends page, i'm officially out and over to dreamwidth. surely there's a way to read my lj friends list over there somehow. and i know i've said OOP MOVING TO DREAMWIDTH before it seems a million times, but my laptop doesn't have the ram/memory/whatever to support endless scroll, so i won't be able to check my friends list on lj. just as i can't scroll through tumblr with endless scroll enabled. and you know, even if i did have a super fast internet connection and plenty of space, I STILL WOULDN'T WANT IT. ugh, smh to the person who invented it. [edit: to complain, go here. not that livejournal even bothers to listen to its non-russian users anymore.]

unrelated but equally if not more important:

stay safe, you hurricane endangered peeps! <333
alwaysenduphere: (spartacus//it lifts spirits)
Dear Yuletide Writer,

Well, here we are! After years of seeing these letters crop up on my friends list, I have finally decided to take the plunge, and you, my lovely writer, get to make me super happy I decided to participate! No pressure though, seriously, I'm fairly easy to please and I'm sure whatever you write for me will be fantastic. I'm excited to read whatever it is you choose to write, as we share an interest in a fandom that definitely needs more written about it!

Obviously everything written here is completely optional, but I want this letter to be as helpful as possible, just in case you're not overcome with ideas (if you are, pay this letter no mind!) Most of all, I thank you in advance for whatever it is you write me, and I look forward to reading it. <3

In General:

I LOVE angst. I probably have a problem with how much I love to see characters in uncomfortable situations. Good characterization makes anything worth reading. I like hopeful endings, but they don't have to be happy. I like realism, even in ridiculous settings. I enjoy first times/last times, origin stories/first meetings, dark!fic and horror, bdsm and all forms of painplay, dystopias/post-apoc, westerns, general disfunctionality, domestic angst, polyamory, genderswap, vignettes, moral ambiguity, hurt/comfort, humor in the face of crushing defeat, the list probably goes on. I have no problem with slash, het, or gen, all three are fantastic. I need my porn to have a bit of plot and my schmoop to have a healthy dose of angst on the side. And though I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, I get a little thrill every time I stumble across a good 2nd person pov fic because I love, love, love it. I'm not easily squicked or triggered, and in fact I often seek out stories that other might find uncomfortable to read.

Dislikes are pretty easy, I'm not fond of crack or pure schmoop, and pwp and most AUs are not often my thing. Crossovers are wonderful, but they have a time and a place, and I would prefer not to have them in these fandoms. I do not like first person POV, and although this is a Christmas exchange, I'm not terribly fond of the holiday itself, so I would prefer no mention of it in fic.

Any rating is fine.

If it helps at all, here is a link to my Delicious account and my pinboard account. I think what these will mostly help with is showing the wide variety of tags I keep, though. ;p

Fandom-specific requests!

1. Political Animals - Doug/TJ
Some twincest is just all I need, really. Would love a first time scenario, or the moment TJ realizes he's gay/in love with his brother, UST galore. I would also like to see more of TJ influencing Doug a la the Ecstasy scene where Doug proposes to Anne. Any and all threesomes are welcome, as long as Doug/TJ are part of the pairing. Would also not mind just a childhood "they're so close" story from an outsider POV. If incest is not your thing, I would also be perfectly happy with a series of brotherly moments, or any number of 'what-if' scenarios (specifically: what if TJ had died, what if TJ had never been forced to come out, what if they were never in the White House, the list goes on.)

2. Talents series by Anne McCaffrey
Honestly, I will take A N Y T H I N G for this. This was one of my favorite book series growing up (as was most of Anne McCaffrey's work) and seeing it on the list for Yuletide brought back so many memories of reading it over and over again. I honestly doesn't remember many plot details about the series, it's been SO LONG since I read it, but I know I loved Damia like nobody's business. I have no specific requests for this one at all, I really do just want to read something new in this verse.

3. Revolution - Miles/Charlie
This show is still shiny and new, and quickly building momentum and uh, plot that isn't rather dull. It's grown on me a bit like kudzu and these two and their FAMILY dynamic is what makes the whole show tic (or at least, it's what's supposed to make the whole show tic, since it is a Kripke show and all.) I would love any type of fic showing that bitter and snarky banter between the two leading into something more like gentle camaraderie, teacher/student dynamic with each of them learning from each other at points. Would also love angry hate!sex or any number of hurt/comfort situations where Miles is not the one in charge. Anything that makes Charlie stronger than she often comes across on the show. Charlie isn't as world-weary and war-trained as Miles, but she's certainly no damsel in distress.

4. Sons of Anarchy - Jax/Tara, Gemma
ALLL THE ANGST. What this show does best is balance the crushing angst wall with little snippets of humor and familial love. I love all the characters except Clay and Juice and anything centering on the love/family theme that the show does so well would be fantastic. Specifically I would love a series of vignettes of the quiet moments between Jax and Tara, from their first time, to Sunday dinner, to waking up after a long night, to quiet passionate sex so as to not wake the kids, to the first time Jax changed Thomas' diaper, things like that, just any quiet family moments. Alternatively, I would also love a Gemma character piece centered around her state of mind after what happens to her in episode 5.06 with regards to her sexual assault in season two.

I hope this post helps you, and I look forward to whatever you choose to write! :)



Oct. 2nd, 2012 12:21 am
alwaysenduphere: (doctor who//the doctor's wife)
Doctor Who:


"You think you'll just come back to life?" "When don't I?" GROSS UGLY SOBBING;_________________;

I really really really hate the weeping angels. Statues gave me the wiggins as a kid enough as it is and now the angels have only perpetuated that. I was seriously freaked out throughout a good portion of this episode FUCKING BABY ANGELS and just when you think things can't get any creepier the fucking STATUE OF LIBERTY ("I always wanted to visit the Statue of Liberty. I guess she got impatient." LOL)aughhhhh nightmares.

At least they're together in the end, right? Who cares about the Doctor, Rory and Amy are what it's all about. (LOL I remember when they first became companions I thought Rory was stupid and Amy was rude and obnoxiously annoying. I CAN'T ;______;)

I did not find Elementary all that engaging, though there were a few moments where it shined. Will keep watching for now, as long as I don't have as much trouble streaming it as I did today. My laptop doesn't seem to want to stream things at all anymore. I hate downloading everything but it seems that might be my last option.

Revolution makes me l o l. The writing is pretty awful and stilted and the whole family/IT WAS MY JOB TO PROTECT HIM thing just does not work for me like it did with Sam and Dean. Billy Burke is fantastic though and Miles is most definitely the only reason I am willing to continue giving this show a try.

I'm trying to watch 25 shows right now. It's not working out for me so well so far. We'll see.

This has been an update. Happy October, everyone!
alwaysenduphere: (avengers//science bros!!)
Reading this mildly interesting article on whether or not Marvel's Avengers movie universe was worth it or not, got to this part:
(*An alternate opening to Incredible Hulk also features a sequence of Bruce Banner in the Arctic attempting to kill himself, but instead triggering The Hulk (remember that anecdote from Avengers?). The enraged Hulk smashes a glacier, inadvertently breaking open the ice containing Captain America. Go HERE for a look at that moment.)
Much like Cap's shield on Tony's desk in IM and Coulson handing it to him in IM2, I am fascinated at just how much thought they put into these fucking movies.

Other fascinating things:
- Deadpool vs Gangnam Style is the actual best thing.

- This girl can say any word backwards in a matter of seconds. FUCKING WIZARD. [h8 tumblr's video player]

Um um to finish this post, let's do a fic rec because we caaaaaan. [oh god i have so many things i want to rec but i'll just pull out a few.]

- lords of kobol, hear my prayers is a avengers/battlestar glactica fusion in which carol danvers is kara thrace, only well, not really. i can't really explain it but it is wonderful and i love carol and i love carol/tony which is a thing that doesn't exist like, anywhere on the internet and only in like, two issues of comics, but i love them so so much.

- Handsome and the Hulk is a tony/hulk beauty and the beast au that's equal parts amusing and sad with all the elements that make beauty and the beast a classic story while still keeping the characters themselves.

- Fragments of a Different War okay look, fics set during Civil War is like my kryptonite I'm default set to love 90% of them. This one is a non-linear What If piece that has Tony and Steve being a couple changing the entire course of the timeline.

- I’ll remember best of all, all the things we didn’t say is a tony/steve set during Dark Reign, after Iron Man World's Most Wanted, during the parts of Stark Disassembled where Tony is brain dead. Basically GROSS SOBBING DON'T READ THIS ONE UNLESS YOU WANT A GOOD CRY definitely probably the saddest fic i've read in this fandom so far, one of those that lingers with you long after you've read it, literally cried in the shower for like fifteen minutes after reading it, but it is wonderful and gorgeous and if you do need a good cry, this is it.

- no one laughs at god in a war (no atheists in foxholes) is a short and lovely second person fic (of which this fandom is lacking!!! wish i could fill it but fml!!) chronicling tony and steve's [almost]last moments with some of their first moments together.

Lastly, meme! from [ profile] radiophile

Post a comment and I will...
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Associate you with a character/pairing.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. Tell you my favourite userpic of yours.
8. Tell you Strongly suggest that you must post this in your own journal.
alwaysenduphere: (castle//i'm all shook up)
I don't always make one of these posts, though I think I did last year, but it occurred to me that I've added a decent amount of friends lately and that I often talk about only two or three shows on a regular basis, but I watch many more, and sometimes people are thrown when I'm like "Oh I know what you're talking about."

Plus I mean, this is me totally procrastinating on attempting to finish a draft for [ profile] marvel_bang so, there's that. Nope, forget it, attempt is over, I am done trying to write things longer than I am comfortable writing.

Firstly, I use this app to keep track of all my shows, as I mostly don't watch them as they air and they do tend to pile up and I forget what I've seen and haven't seen, it's very easy to just check them off when I'm done. I don't really use the renewal/cancellation guide part of the app, but it's also there.

Using this website as a guide, thank youuu [ profile] radiophile for the link.

Shows already airing

Leverage - Leverage is one of those shows I'm not terribly attached to (I've missed two episodes this season) and I don't pay close attention to, but at the same time it's a feel good show that I love watching. I'm not upset when it goes on hiatus and I'm not super excited when it comes back, but I'm always gonna be amused watching it.

White Collar - I feel a similar way about White collar as I do Leverage, I mostly just watch superficially and don't think too much into it, but I do look forward to these episodes every week and I do have an emotional attachment to Neal Caffrey.

Doctor Who - This has just returned and I was...'meh' at the premiere. It neither disappointed me nor astounded me. But I am not a proper Whovian as there are still episodes of 9 and 10 I have never seen, and I like both those Doctors far better than 11, and I have seen all of his episodes.

Longmire - I guess technically this has ended for the season, I've been watching it in chunks several episodes at a time. I doubt I'd be watching it if it wasn't a summer show, as I have enough things to juggle throughout the year, but it's got Katee Sackhoff and the dynamic contrast of Indian Rez police to local cowboy police is one that never fails to interest me.

Returning shows

9/11 - Sons of Anarchy - I am ridiculously excited for this show to come back. Last season was up and down, but also pretty edge of the seat gripping at some points, and I'm so excited to see how Jax handles being the Prez and Tara steps into the role of HBIC and just THE DRAMAAAA DUN DUN DUN I love these fucking assholes.

9/24 - Castle - Another show I am not terribly emotionally attached to and do not think too much about because it is horribly flawed and predictable, but. Nathan Fillion. I'm sure they're going to do something awful to create drama between Castle and Beckett again this season, but just putting them together in the finale made me a happy person all summer.

9/27 - Grey's Anatomy - Honestly I'm not sure why I watch this show anymore, either. Obligation, a lot, but I still do care about the characters and I haven't met a show that made me cry this consistently in a long time. And last season's finale LEXIE ;___; so I'm excited to see the PTSD following that.

9/29 - Merlin - FINALLY we get to the King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table of myth. I am super excited for the potential of this season, but if it's just more "Merlin saves Arthur and covers so Arthur thinks he's an idiot" gags and Arthur doesn't find out about the magic soon, I'm done.

9/30 Once Upon A Time - Last season was very up/down for me and there are a ton of things I didn't like, but...Sebastian Stan. And I was a bit shocked that magic DID return at the end, so I'm curious to see what the plotline for S2 will be.

10/3 - Supernatural - While the plot summary for S8 does not give me warm fuzzies, I am sticking this show out for as long as I can. That's that.

10/14 - The Walking Dead - MICHONNE *____*

Game of Thrones - Just. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS
Lost Girl - Sucked into this show earlier this year. Season one was pretty awesome, Season two actually was a huge let-down by the end, but Dyson has his love back now and Kenzi is still the best Kenzi so.
Shameless - FUCKING GALLAGHERS. Love this show, but also in a "don't think to hard about it" way.

New Shows

9/17 - Revolution - Honestly the plot sounds a little mediocre, though the concept is certainly most relevant to my interests. The trailers for it leave a little to be desired, as well, (not to mention it's on NBC) but its got the Abrams/Kripke/Favreau trifecta behind it, so I'm definitely giving it a shot.

9/27 - Elementary - I don't know if I'll give this a shot. I've never actually been all that into Sherlock Holmes before the BBC show and RDJ's face in the movies, so the draw at the plot isn't really there. Also I don't like Lucy Liu (i know, blasphemy.) Also I'm already annoyed with how this show is EVERYWHERE I look and it hasn't even premiered yet thanks for ruining it for me. But I've also heard good things, so I might give it a shot.

10/10 - Arrow - Everything I know about Green Arrow I learned from Justin Heartley and Wikipedia. But you hand me a show about a badass archer AND stick John Barrowman in it, and I'll be watching.

10/10 - Nashville - I don't know about this one, but I think I'm gonna try it out at least for a few episodes.

2013 - Dracula - ?? I've heard nothing about this and it's on NBC so that's potential for fail right there, but I'm also intrigued by a tv show about Dracula so. I'll be looking for more info.

Other shows I watch not on the list
- Legend of Korra - Sorely disappointe by the reveal of Amon last season and Korra getting all her Avatar powers back, but also looking forward to a fresh start in S2.
- Whatever Avengers cartoon replaces Earth's Mightiest Heroes (RIP ;___;)
- Downton Abbey - COME BACK TO ME
- BBC Sherlock - COME BACK TO ME

Shows I don't think I'll be watching

10/2 - Hart of Dixie - I haven't watched the last three episodes from last season. It was a cute show and I love Rachel Bilson, but I don't have time for a show in which I think all the characters are stupid.

10/17 - American Horror Story - I may give this one a try, idk, it'll depend on word of mouth, but I am not actually one for horror stories, so probably not. I only got sucked in to last season because of Tate and Violet, a storyline that went WAAAAAAAAAY the other direction of what was comfortable, which was nice.

winter 2012 - Misfits - Nope, done with this show. While I'll admit, the follow-through of Simon and Alisha's story was a nice surprise, the departure of them and Kelly is enough to make me stop watching. I did not like Rudy and I do not like Curtis. Done.

Shows I'll watch on Netflix and am therefor always a season behind on but still care about
Vampire Diaries

Shows my parents watch that I sometimes catch episodes of and still have some clue about
The Mentalist - Simon Baker let me love you.
The Good Wife
Criminal Minds
NCIS - The season premiere for this looks wicked. DUCKY ;__;
Hawaii 5-0

Yep, that's a lot to keep up with. I don't know how people watch so many shows. And m god this post took forever.
alwaysenduphere: (superhusbands//tony pony)
title: only thing to do is jump over the moon
fandom: Avengers
pairing: Steve/Tony
rating: R
summary: Olympics AU; Tony is a world-class gymnast and Steve is the perfect athlete; also sometimes everyone needs to let off a little steam in an Olympic size swimming pool.
notes: ~3100 words. wow okay late to everything as usual. this is probably horrible and it ends abruptly but it's been sitting on my desktop since closing ceremonies and i just want it posted so. have baby's first foray into steve/tony. also lol at the title, it's okay you can too. also also lol at the fact that it's an Olympics AU because when have I ever been into writing alternate universes jeez.

It's dark and a bit chilly when Tony gently steps into the pool, a lot like he'd expected it to be and nothing at all as he'd expected all the same. He treads the water for a moment, just floating around, his brain still wrapping his mind around the fact that he's here, in the Olympic pool, that he's competing in the Olympics.

It's three am and most of the athletes have gone to bed, the training for some starting at five and competition for others a few hours after that. Tony knows he should be asleep as well, resting his body for the days to come, but his mind has never worked in easy patterns of awake and asleep, choosing instead to prattle on until exhaustion sets in and he crashes hours at a time.

He paddles around for a few laps, letting the water glide over him like silk. Mostly he just floats along on his back and stares into the open space above his head. He hadn't learned to swim very well as a child, too busy with weight training and advanced geometry and all the other trivial pursuits his father had shoved him into until finally, finally Tony found one he could enjoy for himself, and well, if it bothered his father a little, that was only an added bonus.

Gymnastics was all consuming once you committed, and never let it be said that Tony Stark only half-assed commits to things he enjoys. But between training and school and his father's watchful scrutiny, there just wasn't time to learn to swim properly. That is, until a few years ago, when his Achilles tendon snapped mid-performance at the World Championship and nearly ruined his career. But he fought back, keeping in shape and training in the water until his ankle could bear his full weight again, until he could fly over the vault and stick his landing with minimal pain. He'd fought hard to recover, worked twice as hard as any other athlete he knew, and made it back in fighting shape and qualified for the Olympics in little over a year.

The high dive looms over Tony's head as he floats around on his back in the pool, lost in his thoughts, until finally he decides that it's now or never, climbing out of the pool and up to the ladder. Ten meters is a long climb up, but Tony’s not afraid of heights in the slightest. He starts climbing.

"Should you really be doing that?" a voice calls from several feet below him. He startles, but to his credit, he doesn't slip on the ladder.

"No, but that's never really stopped me before," he replies, but he heeds the warning a bit nevertheless, taking his time once he gets to the platform, debating on whether or not he should really do this. His coach would murder him if he knew Tony was even out of bed, let alone standing ten meters in the air on a concrete platform. The pool's still forever below him, and suddenly it all seems so far away, the vault, the high bar, his dad's lack of appreciation of his talent. The whole world is simply the space between him and the water. He takes a deep breath and a step towards the edge. He dives.

The air rushes past his free fall and the rush of speed makes his face feel funny as he tries to smile, presses the skin back awkwardly. He tries for a front tuck around halfway down, just mimicking what he's only ever seen on TV. He almost succeeds, manages to get his head facing down into the water before he hits the surface, but his arms and legs are all wrong and he's completely unprepared for the sting of the water the moment he hits, not enough breath stored in his lungs and what little is there rushing out at the impact. He struggles to the surface, swallowing a lungful of water on the way there, but he feels free and alive in a way he hasn't in a very long time.

"Well, congratulations, you didn't die," he hears from behind him while he's still coughing out water, the same voice as before he jumped. He takes a few gasping breaths then turns around to see who else could possibly be sneaking in to a closed pool after hours. It's probably the last person he'd ever expect to break any rules.

"If that's your way of complimenting my diving skills, you need to work on your execution," he replies to Steve Rogers, America's golden boy for the decathlon, the ‘best athlete the world has ever seen.’

"Definitely not a compliment. That was pretty idiotic, in my opinion."

"Well, it's a good thing I didn't ask for your opinion," Tony snaps back, his head suddenly pounding from his recent lack of oxygen. It's time to leave the pool now, absolutely. "What are you doing here anyway, Rogers? Shouldn't you be safely tucked away in your bed, ready to face another morning as the poster boy for apple pie and consumerism?"

Steve's expression shuts down, but only for a second. Long enough for Tony to catch it but not time enough to wonder what it means. "I don't need much sleep these days," is all he says.

"So you decided to break into an Olympic pool and what, paddle around until you exhausted yourself?"

"I think that's more what you decided to do, but yes, I decided to find a little bit of relaxing peace and quiet. Instead I found you."

"You found nothing, I was never here."

"Don't you compete tomorrow, Tony Stark?"

Tony's honestly a little surprised Steve knows his name, with all the athletes the United States had sent this year. They'd brushed shoulders walking into the Opening Ceremonies and passed each other at the village a couple of times, but beyond that, no real contact. As if he's reading Tony's mind, Steve says, "I make a point to learn my teammate’s names."

"That's a lot of teammates, mate. And no, I don't compete until Thursday. Tomorrow's the individual all-around, I didn't qualify. I didn't want to qualify, honestly, vault and bar are my thing, I've never really been all that fond of floor, lots of showiness and well, being close to the ground, and the rings require way more singular concentration than I've ever been able to muster in my life, trust me, I know, that's exactly what my coach yells at me all the time." He tries to stand up and walk away, knows he's running his mouth too much, hates the sound of his own voice sometimes. He has a lot issues: smoking, drinking, all sorts of habits that a world-class athlete shouldn't do, but rambling when he's the center of attention is probably the one he hates the most. He expects Steve to point it out, to maybe say he's sorry for the misunderstanding and walk away, or share some inspiring story like he seems to do frequently on the news programs, or flash a million dollar smile and laugh and blush until everyone has forgotten what the question was. It's not like Tony spends a lot of time watching Steve being interviewed, it's just that it's hard to avoid.

"You like to be in the air," Steve simply replies, causing Tony to stop dead in his tracks. No one, no one has figured that out before, no one knows him well enough to figure it out, really, even though Tony’s pretty sure it’s not that obvious. And yet somehow within ten minutes of meeting him, Steve Rogers thinks he knows everything.

"It's none of your business, you know," he snaps back, doing his best to storm out gracefully and failing when the world goes blurry and he stumbles just a bit. Steve catches his shoulder and pulls him back upright and Tony can't help but notice how warm his shoulder feels even after Steve's removed his hand. Steve just stands there, watching Tony, waiting for him to move again.

"Thanks for catching me I guess, it'd suck to survive that dive only to be sidelined by tripping over my own feet. So are you gonna swim or just stare at me?" Tony asks. "Because I'm trying to be on my way out, I'm just...having some problems. As you've seen."

"I was going to swim a few laps," Steve says, and then just looks at Tony in a way that makes him incredibly uncomfortable but also incredibly intrigued at the same time. "You want to swim a few with me?"

Tony catalogues his body; his head's still throbbing and his legs sting from the impact of the water, and he can feel the general sluggishness of being in the water for a period of time swarming his consciousness. He could probably sleep now, if he tried. "Yes," he replies.

Steve peels off his over shirt as Tony splashes his way into the pool, the water now more welcoming and warm after he's spent time out of it in the cold air. He turns to splash at Steve, and gets caught up staring at the man as he slowly sinks his way into the pool, fingertips gripping the side tightly. It's not that Tony's never seen him shirtless before, they really do like to show Steve's 'perfect form' on the news programs, touting how he's the best all-around athlete the US has ever had, and well, that's always bugged Tony, like how do they know he's the absolute best, it's not like everyone chooses to participate in the decathlon, but that's not the point. The point is Tony has never seen Steve up close, and that's what he brushes this sudden fascination off as, an admiration of human perfection, and nothing else. Nothing at all.

"Shall we?" Steve says, and Jesus, Tony feels like he stepped into a '40s movie where he's playing the role of the girl, and he's being led into a movie theater to watch the damn thing.

"We shall," he smarts back, and kicks away from the wall. His form is the worst and he gets all of three strokes before Steve's passing him in the other lane, all speed and agility and that human perfection Tony'd been admiring moments before. Tony stops when he reaches the other side and just watches Steve as he stretches stroke for stroke back to their starting point. "Is there anything you can't do perfectly?" he calls when Steve surfaces on the other end, shaking water out of his ears.

To his surprise, Steve laughs, loud and full in a way that echoes around the big empty space they're in. "I'm not so hot in the kitchen," he says.

"Wonderful." Tony’s a good cook; actually Tony’s an amazing cook, his father had made him take lessons, even though ‘cooking was the wife’s job’, it was always a good idea to be prepared to fend for yourself.

"Why don't you swim back over here and I can give you some pointers on how to make your strokes more efficient?" Idly, Tony wonders how many laps it would actually take to wear out Steve.

"I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole. How about you swim back over here so I can save up my energy and kick your ass on the second try?"

"As you wish," Steve replies, and Tony's seen The Princess Bride; he knows how this one is going to end, and he's no woman. Even if he does happen to be good in the kitchen.

"Do you ever even break a sweat?" Tony blurts when Steve arrives in front of him, mere seconds after departing the opposite end of the pool. It's unnatural, is what it is, Tony thinks.

"Well, generally, not in the water. Or if I do, it all gets washed off. I don't know, Tony, do you ever break a sweat in the water?"

"I don't generally spend a lot of time in the water to find out, honestly."

"No, you wouldn't. Too busy training, right?" The way Steve says it is weighted and ever so slightly sad.

"Wishing you were somewhere else right now?"

"No, no, it's not that. I'm grateful to be here, to even have the chance to be here, but I don't know, you ever feel like you're missing out on more important things in life when you spend all your time in training?"

"Wow, bringing down the house there, Steve-o. But yes, boy do I ever. That's why I do my very best to succeed without spending all my time in training, a fact that thrills my father to no end, let me tell you."

"Sarcasm, right?"

"You betcha."

"I've read about your father, huge industry mogul that dominates every business venture he gets into and lets nothing stand in his way."

"Yep, that includes his son, don't worry, the articles don't lie."

Steve treads water like does everything else – easily. "Tony, I'm sorry,” he says after a moment.

"For what?"

Steve shrugs. "I don't know. It just seems like the appropriate thing to say."

Tony’s used to being apologized to, ‘I’m sorry Mr. Stark I’ll pick your dry-cleaning right away, “Sorry I wasn’t there to see you perform, son’ and so on and so forth. He probably hears the words three or four times a week, but never really with so much sincerity behind them, and never for so little wrongdoing at the time. "Thanks, then. I think. So uh. Wanna race again?"

"I'd hardly call that a race. And honestly, no, I'd rather do this," As Steve finishes his sentence he wraps a hand around Tony's shoulder, in the same place as before, and pulls him closer in. Tony moves easily, his entire body weight probably feeling like an air bubble to the great and powerful Steve Rogers , and Tony's all caught up in the moment, already totally willing to do whatever Steve wants him to; Steve pauses with both his hands touching Tony, and their eyes meet, wide-eyed expression to wide-eyed expression.

"Yes," Tony breathes, and that's all it takes for Steve to close the gap and kiss him good and proper. And it is good and proper, Tony notes, wrapping his arms around Steve like...well, like a fucking girl and whatever that's fine, he'll play that role if it gets him this close to perfection, Steve's warm hands pulling him closer and closer until there's no space for water to flow in between them, just torso on torso and a thin layer of swim shorts separating them. Tony's hard, and well, let's face it he's been half-hard since Steve stripped off his shirt and climbed in the water, and before long he's rutting up against Steve with no cares in the moment, Steve's tongue sucking and pulling at Tony's and his hands roaming everywhere they can touch. Tony just clings to Steve's neck, too caught up in the feeling to do much else.

"Wait, don't you have somewhere to be in the morning?" Tony realizes, pulling back slightly, his synapses still firing despite all the attention, his brain never shutting up.

"It's just discus in the morning, I could win that with my eyes closed," Steve says confidently, and Tony's pretty sure that'd be dizzyingly impossible, physics and gravity and balance and all that, but he just doesn't care anymore.

"Steve," he says.

"Tony," Steve responds, and Tony's left wondering how in the span in like an hour he's gone from wanting this man to get the fuck away and leave him to dive to his own disastrous fate to grabbing hold of this man and never wanting to let him go. Tony's pretty sure his whole worldview shifted somewhere there in between their first actual meeting and this moment now, arms groping at each other and legs twisting and tangling together.

They keep sinking under the water level, bobbing up and down like a buoy, both sets of legs too tangled in each other to properly support their weight as their exchange of oxygen grows deeper and fiercer. Tony's dizzy from it all, from the high dive to the swimming to Steve's chest pressed against him to Steve's lips crushing against his even as he's pushing Tony up against the pool wall and bracing himself up with his arms and Jesus, Tony's never going to stop being impressed by the pure strength Steve possesses. He manages to stop clinging to Steve like some kind of schoolgirl long enough to wedge a hand down in between them, erections pressing up against each other and rubbing and driving him mad.

He adjusts for the inches of height Steve has on him, wrapping his legs around Steve's body so that their pelvises meet at exactly the same place, and then hastily slides his hand into Steve's shorts. Steve gasps and breaks away from Tony's mouth, his head falling against Tony's shoulder. "I've never-" he starts.

"What, gotten a hand job in a pool? Well, I've never given one so we're equal here."

Steve doesn't reply, but Tony feels him shifting his weight over to his left arm, can see the muscles struggling under the weight of them both, even in the water, and then Steve has his free hand around Tony, has his hand around them both, and suddenly Tony understands where the expression 'seeing stars' comes from.

“Let me,” Steve says, and with Steve’s large hand working at them both despite the friction the water creates, it doesn't take long until Tony's tentative grasp on control breaks, and he comes, shuddering against Steve's chest as Steve finishes himself off.

"Well, this night totally went in a different direction than I expected," Tony manages to say after a bit, his head tucked against Steve's. He can feel Steve smile against his cheek, but he doesn't reply. "Hey you. You with me here? I know I'm mind-blowingly awesome but I can't imagine I've worn America's greatest athlete out?"

"I'm awake. I just didn't- I'm here." Steve pushes himself off the wall, off of Tony and it takes a lungful of chlorine-flavored water for Tony to remember how to swim. "Besides," Steve continues, still smiling, "I'm the one who did most of the work."

"Well I guess next time I'll have to do all the work and show you how awesome I am, huh."

"Next time," Steve says, giving Tony a long look that frankly makes Tony feel a little bit more than exposed, previous incident notwithstanding. "Unfortunately I have somewhere to be in the morning and you were right when you said I should probably be resting right now. Goodnight, Tony."

Tony watches the wet trail of footprints Steve leaves behind for as long as he can, then carefully makes his own way out, his legs a bit unsteady.

He definitely doesn't have any trouble falling asleep once he makes it back to his room.
alwaysenduphere: (Default)
title: i've been raised to kill [AO3]
fandom: Avengers [MCU]
pairing: Clint/Natasha
warnings: violence/gore
rating: R
summary: SHIELD keeps a file on them; sometimes they read it over and chuckle at the details the field agents have missed or gotten wrong.
notes: ~1000 words, first fic in a new fandom meep. written for [ profile] be_compromised's Clint/Natasha Promptathon from the prompt "serial killer AU." Originally posted here.

They meet in the dark on a Tuesday, both their hands drenched in the blood of their enemies, dripping to the ground in a cold Russian rain. He shoots first, one simple fiberglass arrow singing through the sky in her direction; she dodges with a speed he's never seen before and then in return charges towards him, her red hair whipping behind her like a whirlwind.

That night sets the tone of their entire relationship.


They start small, at first. Clint likes to watch for a target for a bit, lazily drift along sight line to sight line until he settles on one that tickles his fancy just right, then lets off a single arrow that dissolves upon completing its mission, no muss no fuss. Clint is neat, Clint is precise, Clint is cold and calculating.

Somewhere around Abidjan, things get a little bigger. Natasha likes to charge in without a plan, her head already swimming in a picture of the kill, her whole body humming with only one purpose, knives at the ready, widow's bite charged. Natasha is not neat, Natasha is not precise, Natasha gets the job done and doesn't care about the mess.

As it happens, they balance each other out just fine.


"You want this one?" Clint asks, enunciation muffled by the arrow he's holding in between his teeth, his hands busy holding on to a little girl near the same age Natasha was when she made her first kill.

"Nyet," Natasha responds, glancing at the girl and then using the girl's clothes to wipe blood off her knife before trying to decide her next move.

"She looks like you," he says.

"If you want to kill her, go right ahead. Don't let me stop you from hashing out your deep dark emotional problems, Clint."

He chuckles and wraps a hand around the girl's throat and watches as Natasha's expression slides into neutral, a face he's learned means she's anything but detached from the situation. "Aw, Nat, did I hit a nerve?"

"Fuck you," she growls, lashing out at him with her newly cleaned knife, opening a nice fresh gash on his cheek. Clint responds by first dropping the arrow then dropping the girl, and then trapping Natasha's knife hand with his arm and twisting until he hears a pop, all in a matter of seconds.

"You always underestimate you quick I am, don't you, baby?"

Even as he's finishing his sentence she's twisting away, dislocated shoulder but a small price to pay. They twist and fight and dance around each other, a nearly choreographed routine that happens after nearly every kill with little hint of actual malice. Adrenaline and training are still in high gear, still not quite satisfied; this is their foreplay.


In Budapest they create a trail of bodies miles long, bathe in their blood and swim in their entrails. At least that's what the news programs say; they don't really pay much attention to the media anymore, especially not any news they may create, too busy wrapped up in each other, Clint's hands all over Natasha's body and her legs wrapped around his. They fuck in an alley before the authorities show up, ditching their bloody clothes as they go, hands stained in the red of their victims. Natasha's lip is split where a stray knuckle from a struggling victim collided and Clint's is a bloody mess from a flailing knee of someone else, and it hurts when they kiss, pain and pleasure all mingling together as one.

It takes them a while to get out of the city, every task force and bounty hunter in the area looking for them. There’s no force in the world that’s a match for a couple of trained master assassins, especially not these particular two, and Clint and Natasha pick them off one by one, making a game out of their murder count, each one hoping to push their kill count higher than the other's. In the end, it's Clint who wins. Natasha lets him choose his prize; he chooses her. He will always choose her.


SHIELD keeps a file on them; sometimes they read it over and chuckle at the details the field agents have missed or gotten wrong. For a while the file said it was two women doing all the killing; Natasha got a good laugh over that at Clint's expense. He was certain to leave some blatant clues to his masculinity on their next outing, and the description in the files changed shortly thereafter, of course. Sometimes Natasha spends a lot of time studying in the file, reliving the past as it were, and Clint gives her space; he knows how her memory works, knows that sometimes she has to be unmade to be whole again, that there are things she's done she doesn't remember. Clint's memory is pristine and he remembers every kill and how much he loved sharing it with her; he never wants to forget those moments.


When Loki comes and rips them apart for a time, Natasha stops at nothing to get Clint back. It's not so much that it's Loki or that Clint's doing things not of his own control. It's that he might be having fun without her, that his body count is growing larger than hers and that isn't how they operate. They are a team, they are always a team, and not even a mystical god can keep them apart.

"I thought I'd lost you for a minute," Natasha says when they're back together, knee deep in their next big mess.

"Shut the fuck up, you don't give a shit about me," Clint says in return, taking a swing at her face.

"You're right," she says, smiling and catching his hand by the wrist and twisting until it pops, "why would I ever put up with a mudak like you?"
alwaysenduphere: (spartacus//it lifts spirits)
So I saw both The Amazing Spider-man and The Dark Knight Rises this week.

I liked Spider-man better.

I'm not even a fan of Peter Parker like, at all but Andrew Garfield IS SO PRECIOUS and augh he can act and his sad face made my face sad and Emma Stone is amazing (though a bit wasted in the first half of the movie) and THEY ARE SO PERFECT TOGETHER AUGHHH. The movie had some flaws like Peter Parker is pretty stupid with revealing his identity but I was always engaged and I really enjoyed it from start to finish. (Brett had a lot of problems but fuck him he always tears apart the things I enjoy.)
eta: also, Stan Lee's cameo in this one I WAS FUCKING SCREAMING normally I'm just like "oh look, Stan Lee" I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OUT OF MY CHAIR OH MY GOD.

Batman, on the other hand...we both agreed was far too long, among other things.

Especially considering the first and second acts were pretty much the same. "Oh, Bruce Wayne's getting back on the Batman horse despite all physical handicaps that say he shouldn't, okay. OH Bane breaks his back and sends him to no man's land and then...Bruce Wayne's getting back on the Batman horse despite all physical handicaps that say he shouldn't. LIKE, WHAT. REALLY. At least a half hour of that could've been cut out.

Bane was amazing, my god the muscles on Tom Hardy and I really didn't mind his Sean Connery impression. Someone give Anne Hathaway her own Catwoman movie I loved every minute she was on screen. The reveal of Talia was a complete surprise because we'd forgotten about her completely (though I did suspect that character of being evil the moment Bruce slept with her. Which, also, kind of random, as he'd just been talking to Alfred about how he couldn't move on from Rachel.) Also, MICHAEL FUCKING CAINE. I kinda felt like they misues Alfred a bit and ALL THIS FUCKING MONOLOGING UGH but at the same time, my god I could listen to Michael Caine berate Bruce Wayne until the end of time. #ACTING /BLINKYTEXT

The last half hour was pretty dynamically amazing too, I was definitely entranced but it didn't make up for the number of times I looked at the time on my phone throughout the middle. SURPRISE CILLIAN MURPHY! SURPRISE TALIA. SURPRISE TOM HARDY FLASHBACK WITHOUT THE MASK. And the end, man I fucking loved JGL and all but "You should use your given name, Robin" was THE WORST LINE OF DIALOGUE EVER. I'm okay with him being Robin (even if we won't actually get to see it on screen WHICH IS TRAGIC) but that line of dialogue is THE WORST. Why couldn't it have been more subtle? Who cares if not everyone gets a "Here you go, Mr. Drake" reference that's what the internet is for goddamnit. Ugh.

And then the enddddd Alfred seeing them at the cafe and his faaaace and then he gets up and walks away just like he said he would THAT WAS PERFECT.

But yeah overall I wasn't actually all that fond of that movie.

Related, I've been consuming comics like nobody's business, as I'm sure have a lot of you since Avengers. I'm really not a comics reader; my medium is words not visual, I've never really been able to connect with pictures, and I still slog my way through comics feeling a little bit lost at all times, as far as panel to panel to dialogue to page, and I haaaaate how the art style changes all the time. But I do love the stories. I'm in the middle of Avengers Dissembled right now, reading completely out of order. I've read Infinity Gauntlet (THANOS!!) and Demon in a Bottle (TONY LOOKS LIKE A PORN STAR) and I'm in the middle of Ultimates 2 (which I'm actually enjoying despite everyone hating it and all the characters being rather douche-y). I actually read and finished Civil War first, which WHY DID I DO THAT TO MYSELF WHYYYY but I have all the Steve/Tony feels because of it (specifically THIS, from Casualties of War) so I suppose in that way I done did good and I'm glad I read it first, because I don't think I would've have ever started shipping them without it and now THEY'RE ALL I THINK ABOUT. You know how Winchesters used to be all-consuming? WELL NOW IT'S SUPERHUSBANDS. lol fml.

Um what else idk I don't do much with my life anymore.



alwaysenduphere: (Default)

December 2015

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